I went to see a friend perform last night, she's a singer. I tend to stay away from crowded places and my worst fear was lived out when we arrived.

The theatre was underground, i cannot enter basements or small places. I couldn't turn back as i was there to show support for a good friend. As we went down the stairs to the lobby of the theatre, every step i took brought a harder punch to my chest, by the time we were standing in the lobby, i was literally trying to balance myself.

I was with a good friend and we were trying to find the place that we should collect our tickets, more and more people seemed to be flooding into the small space, i couldn't find a way out so felt as if i should just stand there and wait for the inevitable to happen, for the panic attack to take over. We finally found the right queue to stand in, but of course the lady behind the desk couldn't hear me, after 5 minutes of trying to shout more and more over everyone else, i gave up.

My panic took complete control and i had to escape, as i pushed everyone out of the way, my fear grew more and more. It wasn't until i reached the outside of the building that i felt my life was now coming back into my control....

Every now and then I am given a life line.

I met today with my doctor to discuss how i'm doing and what the next step forward would be. My stress level has been up and down recently, i've been in the middle of moving and as with most people it makes you very anxious.

Ive been looking at alternative stress relief methods recently to fight my anxiety, so wanted to discuss that with my doctor. He basically suggested that now it would be sensible to stick with the Xanax, easily said if you can afford it, i can't right now.

I've tried many things to prevent my attacks. Stop smoking, meditation, massage therapy and other things, but it seems medication will be path to continue calming me down when i get anxious.

There are many resources out there that help you treat anxiety, but short of testing them all there is no real way to know for sure that they will work. that is how i felt until i took Xanax anyway. What with moving house, and being out off work because of my anxiety, i need to find a cheaper way to buy my Xanax, or a cheaper way to treat my anxiety.

My doctor also said i may have GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder.) because of my muscle tension, irritability, i have headaches often, and problems breathing as well as others things, but we'll see.

I've had social anxiety for nearly 6 years now and im starting to gain enough strength to get over this. I'm looking at cheaper ways to buy my meds, this will be the first step....